One week into LaLa land

When we last met here I was freshly landed in Orange County and the world was my oyster. (What the hell does that expression mean anyway? The world is a slimy aphrodisiac? ) Now I have had a week to experience California by myself -- well, mostly and I'm still on the same track that I started from. I need to get my condo sold and close by the end of August and move out here the first of September. I have looked at twenty apartment complexes in Huntington Beach, Costa Mesa, Irvine and Newport Beach and there are a couple I could do okay in. My original target location was Huntington Beach close to the water, but after looking at a dozen complexes I realized that there hasn't been an apartment built there since 1975 and all the renovating in the world won't change a sow's ear into a silk purse. Actually the very first place I looked at was a much newer complex in Irvine that I liked, so I went back and looked to see if the builder of that one had others available. Well it seems that the Irvine Company owns half the city so they have lots and lots of places. A bunch of which are new and don't feel nearly as claustrophobic as those 70's places I was in. The final piece of the puzzle was being directed to a Rental Living office which manages 120 properties. Lovely little Mary interviewed me and set me up with five places I might want to visit and I did just that. The place I like most is by the Irving Spectrum Center, an open air mall next to a sports arena and an IMAX. So I think I know where I want to live and can afford it, maybe.

One big factor is surprisingly the number of planned community activities. You know the kind of stuff that I avoid like the plague in my own complex back home but now is center stage in my quest to make friends. Yes, a girlfriend would be nice, but a couple good friends would fit the bill just as well. At least that sounds good and I am trying to convince myself.

Now let's go back to something Denise said when we arrived here in early June after driving across country. "It seems like a different country." Boy, does it ever! Obviously the weather is better, but not just better. It's in a whole separate category of better. On the coast it's always sunny and pleasant year round. The whole environment and culture is built around the weather. That's why there are 22 bajillion people out here. The people are noticeably different from Midwesterners. They're friendly but seem superficial. They're not as polite as we are in the Midwest. But the punch line is that even if it is a different country that doesn't mean I can't live here. I can adapt as much as I need to and since I'm a cranky old man I can say, "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on" if I don't like the way someone acts toward me.

The experiment continues. I'm here for ten days to see how I feel; to see how it feels; and to decide if it feels right to try it. I've got lots of notes and have been very observant about those things that could be deal killers. The biggest obstacle remains making friends. That will only be determined when I try it, and it's totally under my control to put forth the effort.

On the other hand. Denise and I were walking through the open air mall near my home-to-be and I was thinking "Is this just of those impulsive things that Jim does from time to time only to fall flat on his face?" You know, like proposing to M or going to law school at Georgetown. I would say "Yes it is." But that doesn't mean I should stop and return to reality. Fuck reality. I live reality every day with these half-assed illnesses of mine. Just today I did something to my pacemaker while I was doing Yoga exercises that caused the damn thing to flare up again (I'm taking about the pocket in which it sits.) Then I had a panic attack and had a horrible morning riding out the panic. It took every ounce of mental energy I have to convince myself that this is not the first step in my next trip into the O.R. to have the pacemaker removed and replaced. That's major surgery and it's dangerous. That's the kind of shit that I deal with every day it seems sometimes. It can wear your ass out. So I'll chose fantasy over reality right now. I can be practical for the rest of my life if this doesn't work. All I can say is "Knock this off my shoulder. I dare you."

Know what I mean?

In 45 hours I'll be on my way back home to Michigan. Will it be the last time Michigan is my home?

Thanks for spending time reading my stuff. Guess what the picture above is.

In California, part II

Motive and opportunity. That's the answer but what's the question? The question that my daughter asked me was "What made you decide to move to California so quickly?" "Seems like there were a lot of issues last Fall." Well the motive was to feel better and the opportunity was the combination of two things: a trip to Southern California to relocate Denise to her new job and to find a buyer for my condominium.

In my most recent postings, I chronicled the car trip from Southeast Michigan to LaLa land. After three and a half days in the car we arrived at the luxurious Candlewood Suites in sunny Garden Grove, California. I noticed the nice weather. Imagine that! Mid-60's. Sunny. Breezy. In other words, just perfect for me and my crazy physiology. Meanwhile back in Michigan the highs were in the mid-90's.

I hung around for five days to make sure Denise was settled in her job before I left. After a couple days -- actually right away -- I noticed I could walk along the beach without overheating and I felt better overall. This phenomena continued the whole time I was in SoCal. This was not the first time I had thought that Southern California had the perfect climate for me, but it was the first time I seriously asked myself if I could live here.

The other half of opportunity was listing my condo again (fourth time) and getting an offer of $100 over my asking price from the first looker. Not really that surprising when you find a $300,000 condo for $170,000. That wasn't the end of it because it's a short sale. So I decided to fire my lawyer and handle the lenders myself. As many of you know, I got the primary lender to go for it in one phone call. I'm working on the home equity lender now. Assuming I can close that piece, I'm out from under my beautiful condo; which, by the way, I love. It's just in the wrong place.

I'm back in Garden Grove as I write and it's the middle of July and again it's cooler here than in Southeast Michigan. Love those ocean breezes. My idea is to move here on an continuing trial basis. As long as I feel okay and like it, I'll stay. If not, back to Columbus. Denise is right that it's a quick decision, but I don't make it lightly. At or near the top of the list is being across county from my one-year old grandson and his soon-to-be-born cousin. That's really a tuffy. But if I feel better I will live longer and maybe my grand-kids will remember me more. Next on the list is medical care. Then affordability and so forth. There's a dozen issues at least. But I know what will make or break the deal.

"I was one date away from staying." I'll 'splain. While I was in career No. 1 (teaching) I decided career No. 3 would be lawyering. Career No. 2 was computer programming while I went to law school at night. I enrolled at Georgetown Law School in D.C. as a full time day student. I was 32 years old. There were about 100-150 in my class and they were all younger than me. I was single and lived alone in Arlington, Virginia and drove into Washington each day. My son David was 10 years old and I missed him terribly. Each day in Constitutional Law class I would stare across the room at an attractive but wild looking woman whom I fancied. (Can I say fancied in the 21st century?) Of course I was scared shitless to speak to her so I would look for her around school and when I saw her I'd look away. Sounds like Radar O'Rielly doesn't it?

Somehow I met her and found out her name and phone number. I have no idea how. And I even called her once and chickened out from asking her for a date. I was 32-fucking-years old! Well as you might guess, I left Georgetown shortly thereafter. But if I had asked her out, the course of my life might have been entirely different. So I was one date short of staying.

That will be the test in California. Will I meet someone so I don't feel alone. In Michigan I have a ton of friends, even for an introvert like me. I have a very well established support group. So we'll see how I do at making friends here. If I do, then managing the rest of the issues like not seeing my grand-kids often enough will be more manageable. If I'm alone, I won't cut it. Denise will be here but she has her life to live. She can't and shouldn't babysit me.

Your advice is encouraged and welcome. Thanks for reading.