Paradise Lost . . . leaving California
Four years ago I had to leave earth. Things were
overwhelming me and I had to get away. All my tricks for coping no longer
worked so I hopped the next space ship headed for parts unknown. Fortunately after a few weeks in space I came
back to earth and put both my feet firmly on the ground. At that time I didn’t
have a clue that it was just a step toward much bigger trips. (You can read
about it in the best blog I ever wrote. It’s at: http://oogiesixty.blogspot.com/2009/10/ground-control-to-major-tom.html)
We all take journeys in life. Some take just a few. Some take many. That’s me. Lots and lots of
journeys – some going nowhere – some very focused and purposeful. The most
recent was packing up everything and moving to Southern California in November
2011. It was the type of thing that only
twelve months earlier I would have thought impossible. I had spent a lifetime thinking of Southern
California as a fantasyland (which it is) that was financially and culturally
out of reach for a lifetime Midwesterner like me. It existed only in the movies
and on television. I mean, I had been to
California many times; in fact I had spent a lot of time in San Francisco,
vacationed a couple times in LaJolla and been to L.A. on business. I had driven through Malibu and been to the
Santa Monica pier but living in SoCal was still a completely undoable.
Funny how things just fall in your lap sometimes. My daughter finds a job in SoCal. I ride with her across country and spend some
time there thinking about what it will be like to live there. I notice how
great I feel. (I have serious medical
problems.) I think to myself “I wonder if I would feel this good if I lived
here?” Six weeks later I come back for a test run and “Whammo” – I’m living there. And it’s everything I’ve heard in every Beach
Boys song. Southern California IS the
weather. At this moment I’m sitting
outside with the temperature around 70, bright sunshine and a beautiful cool
breeze. When I was a kid I would hear that so-and-so moved to Florida “for her
health.” I didn’t really understand the
connection between warm weather and good health but I accepted it and filed it
away. I pulled it back out in 2011 and moved to Southern California for my
health. Several good friends told me
what a remarkable thing this move was for me.
And I must say that I surprised even myself. I was on another journey and once again
re-invented myself.
Everything here flows from the weather. That’s why it is so culturally different from
the Midwest. I find the people to be much happier but surprisingly less
friendly than those in the Midwest. After all, what’s not to like? I know – the
traffic. Yes it sucks – but since I’m
retired, I rarely deal with it. I made a lot of friends out here. Yes, they’re
all women, but what did you expect from me? I knew when I embarked on this trip
to a strange and wonderful land that my biggest challenge would be to find new
friends – to build a support network.
The biggest key to my success turned out to be a simple suggestion by my
California daughter – try meetup.com. It
was something I never would have done in Michigan but it led me to meet my good
friend the matchmaker. We formed a bond by helping out each other – I am her
business and legal advisor and confidant – she is my matchmaker and confidant .
. . When I arrivedt here I was a bloated 230 pounds and highly motivated to
drop twenty-five pounds. I immediately
joined Weight Watchers and developed a crush on our group leader – she remains
a friend. Oh yes, and I lost the weight . . . and then some. Actually, I did
make friends with a couple of guys too.
One of them was my age and a studio musician who had played with some well-known
artists. I had a wonderful experience with all the aides that helped me through
my recovery, especially Gina who became my good friend and confidant. (Yes, I
have a bunch of confidants.) I’ll really miss watching Dexter, Ray Donovan, Push Girls, Elementary, The Following, Royals
Pains and our other regular TV fare.
Now my all-too-short stay in California has come to an
end. I had a very unfortunate episode
that put me in the hospital flat on my back for almost two weeks last
October. The site of my pacemaker became
very infected and nearly killed me. In
fact, I was so doped up on pain meds that I have no memory of the five days I
spent in intensive care. Once I got home and began to recover, my oldest son
and I had a long talk and agreed that my health was too susceptible to sudden
turns for the worst for me to be 2,000 miles from most of my family. My only family in California was Alex, my
youngest daughter, and she was in no position to take off time from work to
care for me.
I got home from the hospital last November and we agreed
that I would get myself well again and move to Columbus in spring. I worked
very hard at my recovery and got myself as healthy as I had been in two years.
Given the advanced state of my chronic illnesses my recovery was astonishing –
and I am damned proud of myself. With the help of my son and daughter-in-law,
Chris and Jamie, I found a very nice upscale place to live in Columbus near
them. I delayed my departure a couple of
months until a first floor apartment came available and now I sit in a coffee
house in Columbus finishing this blog that was started outside a Starbuck’s in
Orange County. My stuff and my car are
on their way here and I’m visiting my amazing granddaughter Olivia – and her
parents, of course.
It’s important to me to mention the superb medical care I
got in California. When I came to SoCal
I was worried that I might not find doctors as great as the cardiologist and
neurologist I had in Michigan (actually they were in Toledo of all places.) I
knew that there were great doctors in Cali but would I find them? Well thanks
to the recommendations of my docs in Toledo I found two of the best doctors I
have ever met - Particularly the man who treated my dysautonomia and my
pacemaker, Dr. David Cannom. I have encountered dozens and dozens of doctors
over the past sixteen years but Dr. Cannom is the most learned, compassionate,
understanding doctor I have ever met. No wonder he has a worldwide reputation.
We developed a close bond – as far as I’m concerned, he and his partner saved
my life.
So I’ve added a life event to my Facebook profile and
started a new adventure here in Ohio – my birth state. I can already tell that
being around my granddaughter Olivia makes me feel better and I know Beckett
and Adair will have the same effect on me when I see them soon. AND – hold the presses! – I’ve decided to
venture into the world of senior online dating again. Makes me cringe just to
think about it . . . plus I am very excited about setting up a web site to give
support and insight to Dysautonomia and Parkinson’s patients. I hope to speak
at conferences and write a second book.
I’m going to miss California. I thought it was truly
paradise. There is so much beauty there,
so much to do, so many attractive people, and so many weird people (makes for
great people watching.) I feel fortunate and proud that I went on this
journey. I had to pinch myself every day
I was there because I thought I was dreaming.
Now when I meet Ms. Right, guess where we are going when the
snow flies in the Midwest . . .
Thanks for reading.
