Sitting Around at 2:00AM

This is exciting, you know? Writing a blog in the middle of the night. My mind is free of the day's burdens and I can concentrate on . . . yes, I know I don't have any burdens, but still . . .
Well, I did it. I sat right there in the offices of Great Expectations and paid a fortune – five times what I would put down on a new car – for a dating service. WHat the hell could I have been thinking?
And what do all dating services sell? Their membership list. That’s all they have to offer. Every one, including efuckingharmony, deceives you into thinking that they have a black box from which they will produce your ideal match and all you have to do is just describe in excruciating detail whom it is you want to meet. They neglect to mention that they can only match you up with other people who have joined their service. You want a tall forty year old Ph.D. from Manhattan who likes sailing and romantic walks after dark? Good luck. They have only two Ph.D.’s from Butte who are 5’ 4”.
You’d think after three years of It’s Just Lunch – which I laugh to think that I used to believe it was expensive – I’d be wise to the allure of paying to meet Ms. Right. Actually, I’ve met Ms. Right more than once and she was wonderful – I was just wasn’t prepared to be Mr. Right. So here I am, the man who used to negotiate deals for a living and I ask the attractive (big surprise: attractive young woman selling a dating service to a middle aged man!) sales woman to show me what I’m buying. Nope, can’t do that; privacy you know. Okay, show me a demo of your system. No, can’t do that either. And I still did it! Why?
Frustration? Desperation? Showing off? Hoping against hope? Whatever, I did it. You should have seen me after I did the first search on new members in the Detroit office? It was the same thing that you get on BABYBOOMER peoplematch.com for 15 bucks a month --okay, at least most GE people had pictures. I felt like puking or crying. Page after page of women in whom I have no interest. Yes, I know I’m picky, very, very picky. That’s what I thought I was buying – select group of people who were willing to lay out serious cash to meet someone. Well, not so fast big boy. -- Let me stop and say, least I come off as the elitist that I am, I’m talking about compatibility and common interests; not making value judgments. And while I’m making a point, the women I have spoken to from GE have been wonderfully smart and attractive and personable. The other 90% who have selected me . . .not so much.
Check this scam out. When you search, for example, all women from the Detroit office, it includes women “who visit your city”. So you sit there thinking that these women have answered a question somewhere says: “What cities do you frequently visit?” And they said “Detroit”. Nope. It just means they have a global member ship with access to all 50 offices whether or not they’ve every been to Detroit, Palo Alto, Cleveland or where ever. So 50% of the result list lives far, far away and you have no shot with them. Before I realized this, I kept asking myself why am I being selected by all these women in Florida, Connecticut, California and BFE? Because I show up as visiting their city, I guess.
The punch line is this. It’s a bitch to find the right person. You say you already knew that. Yeah, me too - but you didn’t spend a fortune to find out!