Getting out of the Cold, Again!

Nine days ago I returned to Michigan, my home sweet home, and I have been sick every day since. What to do? Of course, return to the South. I'm going to Destin, Florida for two weeks. I was so flabbergasted by how great I felt in Florida two weeks ago, that I decided that there is no reason to sit here and be miserable. There is only only one limiting factor - money. The issue is not whether I can afford it. It's whether I can afford to stay here. I can fly for free and the car and condo are reasonable, so off I go. I have definitely spent my last January and February in Michigan. I might even consider buying a place as an investment and spending 3 months there myself and rent it while I'm not there. If I like it there and find something for 40 cents on the dollar I'll go for it.

Two sentences on how shitty I have felt. (1) My blood pressure is so damn low i called the pharmacist to see if I might have ruined my medication by exposing it to freezing (in my suitcase in the trunk)because it is not working and (2) my normal window of feeling good for twelve hours from about 11:00AM to 11:00PM has been reduced to about two hours.

I am sitting here waiting for my date with Lovely M tonight. I only wish I knew what I was doing and had something like a plan. Just being in love with her doesn't cut it. For some reason she continues to go out with me (and I continue to ask) although I don't know why. I can accept that she is cautious and reserved after our constant break up/ make up's but why do we continue this dance. Tuesday night after yoga class, Romy, Michelle and I were talking about relationships. Michelle wanted to know why I think she's an enigma when I'm the enigma. Then I started bitching about these text messages M sends me when we're "broken up". Michelle somewhat sheepishly said I talk out of both sides of my mouth regarding M. No shit! It's love/hate played out to the extreme. Which does me no good to realize because it just boils down to intense emotion where positive or negative. I if didn't care, I wouldn't care enough to get mad at her. She's that once in a decade woman as I said before.

Fast forward. The date's over and I'm in deeper than I was 24 hours ago. When she's good she's very, very good . . . but when she's bad she horrid. Last night she was the woman I fell in love with and, even though she won't go South with me (so far), I'm still feeling that wonderful glow. I sent her a love poem last night. I know it's sappy, but love is sappy; and a million other things.

I'm writing a book. You knew that. My goal is to start editing when I get to 80,000 words and see what I've got. I've been writing since I was in love with Gina and that's been a while ago. I'm at 73,000 words - no, I didn't count them - and am anxious to get this done this year. Maybe I'll try to finish while I'm in Florida wishing M was there.

Good bye, Michigan, Hello, Florida.