Sunshine State

"Moving sale. Everything must go. No reasonable offer refused." What the hell does that mean? First, the whole point of selling things is that everything must go. Ever been in a store where they tell you that everything must stay? We're in the business to show you things you can't buy. And I can't even write anything about how stupid and pointless it is to say "No reasonable offer refused." Of course, the advertiser knows it's complete meaningless bullshit. But I want to know if it really gets people to come to the store expecting a deal. I know there's a sucker born every minute but how stupid would you have to be to think that all you have to do is make a reasonable offer. I know, I know. Why do I let shit like this bother me? Well, I'm bored and I can't think of anything better to do.

I just finished my first week at Sandestin Beach and Golf Resort in Destin (actually Miramar Beach) Florida. And a damn fine place it is. Twenty five hundred acres of pristine manicured gated complex with 40 or 50 communities of high rises, detached homes, condo, permanent homes, etc. It got its own golf courses (4), shopping center, shuttle service, marina and everything to make it self sufficient. Disney World without the rides. Golf carts are every where and the Gulf of Mexico is across the street from my condo. I know there are places like this all over Florida but I still think of Florida as that butt-ugly place with all the cheesy surf shops and mom and pop restaurants in Ft. Lauderdale and Daytona Beach that I remember from when I was a teenager. In fact I was in Lauderdale a few years ago and the strip along the beach is nothing like what I have pictured in mind from when I was a college kid.

Those memories are probably why I never thought seriously about living here with all the other old farts . . . until now. In fact I never even knew there was anything West of Georgia in Florida. I certainly never heard of Destin, but it's the place to be. It must be. I'm here. Along with about a billion families and college kids on Spring Break. Where the hell do these kids get the cash to come here anyway? Now I suddenly am looking at properties every day. Like I can afford a third mortgage! I came here with the bright idea of bottom feeding on bargains in this shitty real estate market. Surprise! They are selling homes here and lots of them. I didn't realize that this real estate market in Michigan is so totally different than in the South. The idea I had planted in my head by my financial manager of paying 40 cents on the dollar for a really nice place was a little too good to be true. Everything I've sen here seems normally priced to me and the real bargains are million dollar places for $600k which is a little heavy for me. I've been looking at foreclosures on line and they just prove the rule that if it seems to good to be true, it probably is. I thought I found a gold mine last night. A three bedroom, three bathroom house on the bay for $125K. I was ready to offer a hundred in cash and walk away fat and happy. Oops. It's a timeshare, a very nice timeshare, but you still only own 1/10 of it for that price.

When I'm not looking at properties, I'm lying in the sun or walking around the complex. After three days of rain the weather has turned beautiful and it feels great. Even better knowing the high at home today was 42. Most of my mental energy has gone into trying to entice the Lovely M to some down here for the remaining week. So far, no go. All I'm offering is gorgeous weather, relaxing by the pool, the Gulf, long walks on the grounds, dinner at a different restaurant every night and whatever else you can imagine. Oh yes, and my company! I guess I can see why sitting inside in 40 degree weather alone would be more appealing. But I'll keep fighting the good fight.

I fell down and went boom. Even though I had fallen, I could get up but not without cursing and thanking God no one saw. Where was Life Alert when I needed it? I fell in the parking garage and tore my favorite Ralph Lauren jeans. Damnit, that hurt!

As soon as I have some adventures, I'll write about them. Now it's of to tonight's mystery restaurant. Thanks for reading.