Day 3 & 4 - Fun in Bamy and Driving and Driving

I don't know shit about the State of Alabama but I now know that they have the biggest cleanest rest stops and the nicest people I've ever met. And those good ole boys and girls don't mind cruisin at 85 mph which suits me just fine. I drove from the space technology city of Huntsville to the deep, deep south in Mobile. Unfortunately I didn't see Mobile in the day time but what I saw was very elegant.

I went through Mobile to meet a former client whom I know well for a few years but only by telephone. I'll call her Elizabeth. It was an unusual and unexpected experience. First, she doesn't look like her telephone voice. I'm sure you've had the experience of meeting someone whom you've spoken to many times but never met in person. You have to imagine what they look like don't you? You don't think of a disembodied voice voice I hope. But don't be as stupid as me to say "You don't look like your voice" without thinking of what you're going to say when she/he asks "What did you think I looked like?" Because when the real answer is I thought you were a six foot tall frumpy old hag with you hair in a bun, and she turns out to be a five foot tall tiny cute bundle of spunk (I'm not talking about Elizabeth.), you better have a quick one-liner ready to go.

The considerate way to start is to describe Elizabeth's home circumstance by saying that she lives with her parents because several years ago she gave up everything she had to pursue her passion and start up a company so she's pouring everything into the company. If I were sarcastic, I'd use her words and say "She's a hundred years old and still lives with her parents." You may say "Awkward, but so what." Well the "so what" is before having dinner I had to meet her folks. The irony of being old enough to be a grandfather and meeting her parents was not lost on me. But guess what. They were a delight. They were in they're mid-80's and charming. I could have talked with her father all night. And her mother looks great and like a true southern lady she was dressed up sitting primly and brightly in the den. They were southern gentility. I was, of course, at my charming best.

In Mobile our dinner choices on Sunday night were pretty limited. These are church going folks who don't do business on Sunday. So we ate at the country club and had the bar area entirely to ourselves. Elizabeth apparently had decided to consume the maximum alcohol possible because I lost count of her drinks. That's fine, sometimes drunks are funny. She was -- while she was awake. Her main sign of drunkenness was asking me "Why Miami Beach" four times. She was tilting as we left. -- I had my first crab omelet and it was excellent. She had some kind of fondue shit that was dripping with calories. And did I mention that the country club closed at 9:00? Wow, what I night out. Meet the parents at 6:30 and drop her off on the doorstep at 9:30. But it was fine and I enjoyed meeting her.

But wait. That wasn't the end. At 7:00 the next morning I got a wake up call that I hadn't ordered. Guess who was in the breakfast room with coffee. If you could have heard what I was saying in my head at that moment it would have shocked even your most vulgar sensibilities. Because of my health limitations I cannot function in the morning. By function I mean I can't walk into the next room which passing out. I need a good hour for my meds to kick in fully. I DO NOT get up at 7:00! But, always the gentleman, I dragged my sorry ass (you know, Shaky Old Bitch) downstairs and collapsed in a chair. She apologized and we had a nice chat -- no eating for me in the morning -- and I said my good byes again and packed up and headed out.

The rest of the day was twelve hours in my car. And no, I did not have any attacks of road rage. I'm sooo mellow now that I'm out of fucking Michigan. I'm in Clearwater Beach now in a dumpy hotel on the Gulf. Tomorrow I relax for a day.

I forgot to tell you about Highway Jesus. He's on I-75 north of Cincinnati. He's a concrete or plaster (or something white)statue of Jesus' torso from the shoulders up with his arms extended skyward. His torso is emerging from a pond. The arms are about 25 feet long and totally out of proportion to his shoulders and head. He has no elbows. He's gigantic. I can't recall that name of the church other than it's not apparent what denomination it is. Far from being a religious icon, it's garishly ugly and in my humble opinion mocks the members' belief. It's stunning. I will say this though. It's evokes a religious response because when you see it you can only say: OH MY GOD!!


I guess the typos in my last blog were pretty entertaining. I apologize for typos and spelling errors tonight. I'm tired. Thanks (or Thinks) for reading.