Day 5 - On the Beach

At last, no driving today. Never got in my car. Today was a day to chill. No road rage. No clinched jaw muscles. Got rid of my shitty little room and moved to a real big boy's hotel room. Best day I've had in Florida since the Hoover administration! Perfection was spoiled only by a neck that was stiffer than a teenage boy on prom night.

I did something I never do -- spent the whole day on the beach. It was high 60's, sunny and breezy, and perfect. I got fried. My face is scarlet - check the picture! This is sooo much better than 26 degrees and gloomy (you know where). I read part of a book by Carl Hiaasen. He is hilarious. My sister gave me this book for Christmas. It's a humorous diary of his re-starting golf after 32 years away. I learned that I play Ray Ray golf. You play one hole like Ray Floyd and the next like Ray Charles. I also worked crossword puzzles to keep the brain from rotting, but mostly I did my favorite thing -- people watch.

Now I must have really been mellow because usually when I'm beach surrounded by people who they should get a citation from the Exposed Flesh Police for exposing flesh that is best kept a secret from the world outside their bathroom, I am offended and my jaw clinches. But today, no. I am Mr. Mellow. No criticism from me. I accept that my fellow sun worshipers are comfortable in their own skin so why should I be judgmental. Possibly some of my benevolence originates at the mirror when I wonder why a pregnant woman's belly is attached to my body. - I was honored to have in my direct line of sight on the beach a fellow who appeared to be about fourteen months pregnant with triples and was deeply tan so he obviously does this - sitting in the sun - a lot and doesn't give a shit what his gut looks like. As I looked to the right I was so delighted that a youngish (meaning lots younger than me) woman had the decency to put shorts on over her suit to cover her ample thighs before she walked out to the beach. Now that is rare. All in all I was amazed at the shapes of the people. Just regular folks with the oddest looking bodies that seem to be the same as about 95% of us. Not exactly South Beach.

Certainly a Lothario like me whose attention could only be snagged by an attractive single woman over 50 who is financially independent had little chance of being diverted from the oddly shaped people by any such woman. I doubt there was a single woman over sixteen to be found. Speaking of attractive women, doesn't Jane Fonda look good. For god's sake, she's seventy years old!

When I returned to my room I felt the sensation of burning flesh on my face. A shower and a handful of lotion did not do the trick. And of course I got those sunburn chills. What I mean is that when I dressed and walked over to Walgreen's to get some batteries for my camera, I was shivering. Afterward when I went to the local seafood place for dinner I had on three layers of clothes. The dinner was okay and the bar was comfortable and the bartender was as close to the type of woman I described above as it got today, so that was fine. On the way home I hit Walgreen's again for some Solarcaine -- remember that stuff? I've been slathering it on every five minutes since I got back.

My long drive yesterday thwarted my visit with a childhood friend in Tampa whom I haven't seen in 44 years. She was a year younger than me and our families knew each other pretty well. She found me on Facebook - I'm telling all you sticks-in-the-mud who won't do Facebook, you're missing some fun - and when she told me who she was I drew a blank. After checking with the best source of knowledge about Fairborn, Ohio, mom, I began to recall and I think I remember her (I hope she's not reading this.)It would have been a kick but fortunately I have other friends to see before I finish the trip.

Tomorrow Miami Beach. Elizabeth, if you've forgotten again "Why Miami Beach?" all I can say is it's warm and it ain't in Michigan! Thanks for reading y'all.